How To Kidnap Teenage Superheroes: Livewire Style
by The Winged Lady
Summary: A unfunny comedy that makes little to no sense, this is the story of how Livewire and her team end up going from trying to get Superman a sidekick to kidnapping Superboy so that he DOESN'T get a sidekick. They would probably be more organized if they didn't continuously switch their goals, but whatever. Superboy's just trying to figure out why Maxima wanted him to call her Mom...


**Yes. I know, know. Another Young Justice Story? Well. Yeah. This idea has been brewing for awhile, and since my old computer has a virus (I need to visit better websites...) I figured now was not a good time to start writing, but decided to anyways. Joyous joy. **

**Okay, so, Warnings: I am NOT a big Superman fan. I have, and always will be, more of a Batman/Deadpool/X-men/Spiderman type of lady. So, I may not get the characters just right. Also, I'm going to try and mostly pull from the Animated Series, as it's what I'm most familiar with. But I'll also kind of be mixing in a bunch of different Superman lores and such. Why, you may ask? ****Well, to quote a very popular celebrity with a strong internet following: **

**"Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle!"**

* * *

Toyman had just broke out of Prison when it had happened. After busting out, he had found an abandoned Apartment Complex to do his work in, and had quickly gotten to building his toys. The ringing had actually startled him, making him jump in his seat in surprise.

Slowly, he got up and walked to the phone, tentatively picking it up. It was best he just dealt with it then, as it was probably some idiot who had the wrong number. He pulled the phone out of the box and put it next to his ear. But before he was able to say anything the caller interrupted him.

_ "Winslow!"_

"...Livewire?" Toyman asked, his ear ringing from the boisterous girl's loud voice. He didn't really like the fact she was using his name, but from the little interaction they had, he knew it was pointless to object by the sound of her voice.

"_Who else_!?" She snapped angrily, snarling.

"Why _hello_ dear, would you mind telling me why you called?" He asked her sarcastically, his left eye twitching behind the mask.

"_Why am I calling? WHY am I calling?! Because we have a serious problem, _that's _why I'm callin_g!" She continued, and Toyman sat down in the large, fluffy chair in the corner. He didn't have a lot of interactions with women, but he did know it was best to get comfortable when it sounded like they were about to rant.

"Well, what seems to be the problem?"

"_It's Superman_!" She screeched, and he could hear a slam on the other side if the line. He tilted his head in confusion. If Livewire was making another "Kill Superman" team he wasn't particularly interested. Wall Superman had trouble handling villains that were teamed up, Batman always had some form of a plan cooked up for those occasions. And, wall he didn't _hate_ Livewire, he could recognize that they were a tad bit too different to work together comfortably without some form of a medium. He was obsessed with childhood and toys, she was stuck with her conspiracies and loud music. Really, that was all there was to it.

_"...So am I right or what?!"_ She barked, bringing Toyman back to the present. Oh dear, he had gotten distracted again, it seemed.

"Oh, yes, I agree with you completely." He said, nodding. Best not to upset her more then she already was.

"Finally! I'm glad you see it my way, Winny!" She said laughing. She was back to her senses, it seemed.

"Please don't ca-"

"Anyways, I'll be holding the meeting at your place! Do you mind? No? Great! I'll see you in two hours! Get some refreshments or something, I still gotta call Mxy or whatever his name is and the Professor, 'kay? Alright, bye!" There was a slam and dial tone, and Toyman just stood there for a moment in shock. Slowly, he placed the phone onto the receiver very gently, and got up to clean his lair.

Best _not_ to question how she got his phone number and address.

* * *

Livewire grinned as she opened the doors to see Myxyzptlyk, Toyman, Professor Hamilton, and Maxima already sitting around a large brown table.

"I thought you said to be ready in two hours," Toyman said through clenched teeth, a cup of tea shaking in his left hand.

"Come on Sparky! What kind of girl would I be if I wasn't fashionably late?" She said, gesturing for the tall man behind her to come in. Toyman dropped his cup when he saw who it was.

"You!" He said, pointing at the man in shock. Said man snorted when he sat down, slamming his large, clunky boots onto the table.

"Pft. A little cliché, dont'cha think, Doc?"

"Well I apologize, I just didn't think this," Toyman gestured to the room "Was your type of hangout."

"Oh, it isn't," He said, chuckling under his breath, "but what can I say? The Big Man just can't say no to a lady."

"Thanks, Lobo," Livewire grinned. "At least someone knows how to treat a woman."

"Alright, alright, you've got us all in one place," Maxima said, reclining back in her seat- which turned into a beanbag, and then back to a chair, and was suddenly a beanbag again, and then a giant turtle- Myxyzptlyk snickered in his seat. "But what is our purpose here?"

"Gentlemen and Lady, I have called you all here for a very important reason, one that we have all blinded ourselves to for one year too many!" Livewire exclaimed, pacing around the table with a slightly crazed look in her eyes.

"And that is...?" Lobo trailed off, gesturing with his hand for her to continue.

"We don't have a baby!"

"_WHAT_?!"

"L-L-Leslie, y-you aren't suggesting that w-we all-" Hamilton gave a brief glance to Lobo, before he started to gag. Toyman looked like he was trying to choke himself. Maxima and Lobo sat back to consider it.

"One, don't call me Leslie! And two, no I am not suggesting that! Get outta your head, you sick perv," Livewire snorted, crossing her arms. "What I'm _saying_ is that we are the _only villains_ out there whose hero doesn't have a sidekick!"

"Oh thank Budha," Mxy muttered, sighing in relief. Hamilton still looked sick, however.

"Where did this sudden... realization come from?" Maxima asked, raising her left brow.

"Okay, so just last week, I was talking on the phone with Ivy and Harles, and Harley said that the only reason Batman kept on beating them was because he had a partner! And so I said that must mean that the Bat is pretty weak, and then Ivy said that Batman was just as good as Superman! And then I asked what they meant, and Ivy said it meant that we were weaker then Gotham baddies, because they can take on two heroes wall we only have to deal with one!" Livewire stopped to gasp in air, taking a quick breath.

"I really hate to ask, but why does it have to be, as you say, a 'baby'?" Hamilton questioned, looking at the girl in confusion.

"Because everyone else has a baby!" Livewire moaned, flopping into a seat. "Isn't it obvious? The Rogues have Baby Flash, The Gothamites have Lil' Robin, The Star City has Red Arrow AND that Greek girl- even Aquaman, !%$ing AQUAMAN has a protégé! I won't stand for this, you hear me?! I. Refuse. To. Be. Put. In. The. Same. Boat. As. A. _**AQUAMAN VILLIAN**_!"

The other participants jumped as Livewire smashed her hand into the table, a large hole gapping where a chunk of wood should be.

Lobo gave a sigh, getting up.

"Well, what the frag? I got nothin' better to do, Babe, so I might as well go along for the ride." Lobo walked up to the woman, standing next to her as he looked over the rest of the group. "Well, are you in or out, scumbags?"

"Well, I am with you." Maxima said, joining the duo where they stood. "Superman _will_ be my mate, and what kind of father could he be if he refuses to give his child a mother?"

"The science we could learn from an expodition like this could be grounbreaking." Hamilton muttered, stroking his beard. "To refuse such a scientific adventure would be unthinkable."

"I will join you as well," Toyman said, standing up calmly. "It could be very amusing to watch, and it has been awhile since my last team-up with another group."

"Well," Mxy said, looking over the others, "Sad to say I have to go on a date with my precious Gzptlsnz, and won't be coming back for awhile."

Mxy paused for a moment before a large popping sound could be heard and he pulled out a small white ball.

"If ya need anything, just call and I'll pop it over for ya. Okay, Toots?" He said, winking at Livewire. The girl grinned, taking the sphere before waving him off. He disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving behind the scent of cherries and acid.

"Alright. We have our team, so what is it we must now partake in to achieve our goals?" Maxima asked, looking at Livewire for answers.

"First step?" The electric villanious grinned "We go to Mount Justice!""

* * *

**Anyone who gets the refference at the top of the page gets a cookie.**


End file.
